The bugbears of Ian Watson (part three)

Group chairman Ian Watson previously contributed two brand new poems to the NSFWG blog (exclusives!), which were - in his words - "attacking misuse of my bugbear words Actinic and Careening".

Inspired, he's now penned two more (also exclusives) and this is the first, his thoughts on the misuse of the word "laying"...





Laying
by Ian Watson

He's laying on the bed
I tell you no lie
Cluck-cluck
Laying on the bed
Like the hen squeezes out eggs

He layed on the bed
No need to lie
Simply to squat
Cluck-cluck
Out of his arse, an egg

Lay lady lay
Lay across
My big brass nest
Bob Dylan sang that
While his lady layed

Eggs on a nest of brass
Cluck-cluck!  Tuck-tuck!
Tuck-tuck!  Cluck-cluck!
Eggs on a big brass nest
—What'll come to pass?

He layed on the sofa
She layed on the rug
Upon her he layed
An egg on her navel
Out of his arse, an egg

Tuck-tuck!  Cluck-cluck!
Cluck-cluck!  Tuck-tuck!

Yolks on the rug's
No joke, pal, no joke.
Yolks on the sofa
Yolks on the bed
CLUCK-CLUCK!